Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
