never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She bit a glass in half.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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