is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
