just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
