Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
