cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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