you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
