We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
