Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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