nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sex in the backyard? Check.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
