peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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