get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
