We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
