Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
