Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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