I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
