im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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