Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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