I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
