Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
