sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
