We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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