He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize