He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
