You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I think my moral compass just broke
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
