I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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