Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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