Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
