so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
