So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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