This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
