Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
