I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
