no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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