Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
