dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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