he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
