I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
