just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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