I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
