I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
