worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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