I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
