Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize