I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
