wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
