I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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