Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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