Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
