Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
