The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
