He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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