That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
