just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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