There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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