Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize