You're so nebulous sometimes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
