Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
