Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
