Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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