Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
