In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
