He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
