Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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