She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
