My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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